since I bloged or whatever. Its summer now and I dunno, everything is so annoying and scary. Like what if this and that.
Thuy's home :)
Though its been like.. forever, I dunno. I still feel.. like, unsecure. insecure. whatever. It's like.. I can't help it. Its so close. There's always that connection. Perhaps this will be the public view and I shall go into detail with a private one. Thats how I am and this is how I am feeling as of today right now at 2:23.
That means you're trapped and must go here, therefore I expect an IM or message on myspace from you saying you want tickets and must have them asap! OR ask another CVC officer. BTW, its called CVC J for jpeg :D
I will have found you.
Today was .. I dunno. In a way, I never wanna expierence that feeling again, but if it were to come up, I'd like to be the one to expierence it once again. Get it? So, its totally hitting me now. And I'm scared, cuz its very likely I'm not good enough for the good ones. I'll be stuck with the C kids, which is where I belong anyways. I dont really have any special talents to offer. Man. Life sucks.
another one opens. i haven't cried because of someone else other then ____ in a while. thank you very much jerk. brighter side? things are looking better for me and the ex. lets see if it stays that way. i want us to be like how we used to be. i doubt though but hey, surprises are nice. i wanna bring back the old school us minus the yucks. oh and that jerk? im glad i had the chance to clear things up. like a binder, dividing what i need and dont need.
badminton sucks butt. but ryan? he's pretty hip. :)
so like, today was our first badminton game. in all, we won 8 to 7. but i, as in individual lost. it was like .. dude. hecka close man. 14-17, 12-15. and like .. its not that i lost that makes me totally depressed, but its that fact that
ONE: there were so many open shots i couldve got
TWO: i soooo didnt drop and according to calvin did worse then practice
THREE: forgot eveything i did with the coaches
FOUR: let the frustration get to me
FIVE&THE BIGGEST ONE: i let not only me and my coaches, but my partner down.
it was like .. gahhhhh. im so sad. and mad. its a mix. but its a huge mix. i wouldnt have cared much if it was just me, but i had a partner and like .. i always let him down, practices and everything. and he got fusterated cuz of me. to the point where he kinda in a way yelled at me when i missed a shot. twice. gosh man. ahhh. dude i cant spell so bad, that when i right click, it doesnt have the right word i want. man, ahhh. BLAH. next time, im beating the crap outta this team. and if not, i'll do what ryan&cuong does and cut myself.
i forgot all about this! lets see .. things have been pretty swell. oh man. math, i did so bad. it makes me very very very very disappointed. especially since i got the problems wrong because of little simple mistakes. like i PUT multiply on the paper but for some stupid reason i added. WTF was i thinking. thats freakin 4 points right there. i did that 4 times. 16 points. and then, i was doing fine until i decided to flip the page and work on the back. just because having the back finished makes the test seem smaller now (thank you ievu). so after that, i flipped over and i guess i forgot the simple rules to log. and instead of dividing them, i freakin subtracted. i knew it too ! i freakin knew it ! thats another 8 points. lets see .. oh yea! my guess and check was off on 20, thats another 4. together, it is now 28? same with adding and multiplying. that was .. 1? oh and the exponent thing. my stupid butt wrote 9=3^3. get it? its 2. goshhhhhhh i did so bad. the total of my test was 65/100. i was sad. very very very sad. like .. wanting to cry sad. little freakin mistakes. AND i get this too! i got it! i understood it all! except for .. two. so i wouldve gotten 92. mann. AND ive been doing so good on my tests in that class! oh oh oh, and before that, i felt bad cuz i "criticized" what ryan thought. so i was in a blahh mood and it turned into like .. grrr to :( to wtf, i'm stupid. oh oh and i forgot, today, i shook ryan and kept trying to convince him that i was smart. so in the end, this day was like .. 4/10. the only cool part was ryan massaging me in the morning, and me making it in the bucket 3 times during badminton. i feel depressed now. ryans out eating so i cant talk to him. blah. im gonna eat till i feel better, then sleep. and have the fat in my tummy hang out so he can squeeze it and make me feel bad about it. stupid ryan. stupid alg 2. stupid school. blah. youre stupid too. unless ur joann. i like you. or dustin, you let me borrow your sweater when it was cold. thanks. but seriously. BLAH. todays a poop. it downgraded to a 2 now. whatta sucky day. thanks again dustin for the sweater, but only if you decide to refresh and read this.
i'm kinda sad that everyones going and i'm not. not only that but also, instead of being at avis's house, i'm at home. that just makes me sadder. boo.
Things are made for a reason. It'd be nice to see some kinda happiness or excitement. Blah. The only cool part about today was that I played with Patrick again against Aloy&Tho. It was fun cuz we won :]. Why can't I do good when I play with Calvin? Whatta sucky day. Except for Patman. You're cool.. kinda.
I think I'm forming ABS!
blah. soooo .. lets recap:
SUNDAY:
to do: passion essay(8P's), recipe essay, family tree, outlines for chem, lab report, study for french
i went to ryans house to do homework. i got half of the recipe done, and the family tree. and yes, i copied ryans idea :O BUT I CUT almost EVERYTHING OUT! so there >:[ . yea, he played dota the first hour i was there. great start huh? i whined that i didnt wanna do it, tried to convince him to do it, and basically fell asleep in fustration. well not really asleep. like half asleep. he talks too much when playing games. bui took me home. he's nice :D
MONDAY:
woke up at 3am to finish essay. got all heat done. ended up not even going to school in the morning cuz my head hurt so bad. i was surprised mommy let me stay home. i thought she'd be asian! dudeeeee! i just sneezed cough! i think a lugi came out. yea, it came out and landed on my paper. yay meeee. so anyway, came to school at lunch, and saw a wierdo looking ryan. he looked tired or emo. then i heard about how he was when i was gone. wierrrdooo. he sniffed his used to be sweater and said it made his stomach hurt. i guess i shouldve febreezed that 2 week old sweater..
TUESDAY(today):
stayed home the whole day. it was torture! hecka boring. all i did was slowly create abs and wash the dog .. kinda. ngoc did it mostly i just dried him with the blowdryer. i forgot what my point here was. to entertain you stalkers? neverrrr! just kidding. i have a surprise for ryan :D! im pretty sure he doesnt read this stuff cuz hes busy playing dota :D but for you readers .. surprise for him! ask him about it next wednesday. he should have gotten it by then. if i remember my purpose for being here, i shall continue this blog later. and now if i was john on the phone (get it?! john on the john? thats his myspace thing :D hehehe, i know, good one!) i would say, "ight late."
